(no subject)

[ellazo]

From: https://lastvoyages.dreamwidth.org/991942.html?thread=125923270#cmt125923270

[It’s a short enough stroll to the other man’s room, and although Lawrence does not own a watch, and his cabin remains glass-walled and clock-less, he is uncomfortably aware of the fact that he knows what time it is, down to the second, and how much time has passed between one thing and another to the same degree. He does not appreciate it. Time, Lawrence thinks, is something you should be able to lose track of. And it seems like something that is for the benefit of someone else more so than himself. Lawrence is a man who shows up when he feels like it, not at appointed times.

He therefore does not arrive punctually for reasons entirely based on petulant defiance, but he has managed to wear a shirt that does not have bullet holes in it. He knocks by kicking the door twice with his toe.]

Comments

[revpirenewlin]

[In the time since their previous communication and now, Steve has practically gutted his cabin. There were frequent breaks as, reduced to human levels of strength and speed, the vampire became all too keenly aware he did not lead an athletic life. Especially after the divorce, and all the late-night drive-thrus while he stalked every supernatural lead he could sniff out.

By the time Lawrence is heading in his direction, all of the fancy chairs have been shuffled to one side of the room, stacked haphazardly atop one another. Only the couch remains in what he's dubbed "The Teaching Corner". A classroom standard, olive-green "ABC" banner hangs there, and beneath it, about twelve different books arranged in stacks of four. Westerns, books on horses, revenge stories from various prolific authors... He pretty much gathered an eclectic collection. From Dr. Seuss to Edgar Allan Poe; how fast did a Host learn things, anyway?

Well. He was about to find out.

He's putting the finishing touches on his stacks of books when the knock, if it could be called that, comes. It occurs to him, in just that second, he doesn't really have a proper game plan here. Basically winging the whole thing. What could go wrong? He half-dashes to the door, opening it grandly and waving with a gesture to the interior. As always, smiling broadly.]

Welcome, welcome!

[ellazo]

[Lawrence gives him a nod as he makes his way inside.]

Mighty hospitable of you.

[He glances around the room; wonders what the chairs did to end up in a pile. He affords the books the least amount of interest. He is not primarily there for them. Reading, something inside of Lawrence says, is not for men like him. Reading is for city folk; people with soft hands and a distinct lack of wanted posters.

But El Lazo could read. Lawrence has no particular memory of how he learned to do so; it was not important to the revolutionary. But it was useful.

Even so, Lawrence would not have agreed to learn himself, except that: Steve interests him. There is something about him that brings to mind Slim Miller, not that the two look at all alike. Slim was narrow faced; his blond hair more often than not like a tumbleweed on top of his head. Lawrence looks Steve over like his cabin.]

You're a helluva lot taller than you look on the contraption.

[Steve is one of those leggy bastards. But he has that same boyish enthusiasm Slim had, and that Lawrence (as El Lazo) had always liked; found refreshing compared to the mainly ornery bunch he rode with.]

So how're you aimin' to school me, Padre?

[revpirenewlin]

[Steve watches Lawrence with fascination when he enters, subtly sniffing the air after him. He smells almost human, and yet Not. Something more; a superior evolution, similar to himself. There was no heartbeat or pulse yet Lawrence was distinctly, undoubtedly, alive.

That wasn't the only reason he'd invited him over, of course. Not everyone he intended to have, or rather hoped to have, as friends were potential blood donors. No, there was a simply a bizarre sense to help him. More than a bit of that was evident in the sermon. Steve revealed as much about himself as he was trying to aid the other man sort through his own issues. Not that Lawrence knew that, of course.

There's a small half-laugh at Lawrence's assessment and he can't resist bowing, spreading his arms wide.] Y'know, I get that a lot. Well, not here, but back home. And you ain't so bad yourself, despite whatever your foolish Maker intended.

[He winks playfully and rolls up his sleeves and starts walking towards The Teaching Corner, turning so he could face his guest.] Alright, so you know what a gun is. Obviously. Just as much as a saddle, a horse, all of it. Enough to speak the word aloud, so we'll start there. Sounding them out on paper first, heck, even writin' the words yourself if you were so inclined. But, baby steps. [He gestures to the alphabet banner.] And by baby steps, I mean breakin' down every word to the basic elements, and that being these letters.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence, who is only 5'8 looks (up at Steve) nonplussed.]

Right. I ain't got any troubles speakin' English...or Spanish, for that matter.

[Lawrence was made as a man who grew up speaking an equal amount of both. Enough so that he doesn't consider either to be his first language.]

The trouble is in when it's all starin' at me from on a piece of paper.

[That's a simplification, and Lawrence supposes it's probably important to elaborate.]

Well, it's the trouble now, anyway. Thing is: I used to be a different man than I am now.

[revpirenewlin]

[Despite the height difference, Steve tries his best to keep eye level with Lawrence, or barring that, try his best not to talk down to him about anything. He listens patiently, looking impressed, though unsurprised about the dual languages. What Lawrence says next, however, is just... confusing.]

Different man as in you had different... programming? [He's still not certain of the correct terminology. Still mulling it over, he supposes after three decades nothing would stay the same.] Like, they recorded over you like a re-used VHS tape?

[ellazo]

[Lawrence's brow furrows slightly.]

I don't know from vee-ache-esses, but yes: my pro-grammin'-

[The word 'programming' rolls around in his mouth for a moment before coming out, like Lawrence is trying to get a taste for it.]

-started off different. I wasn't actually made to be who I am now, but I been this person longer. I can remember the other man, but I can't be him. I don't know that I'd want to.

[A smirk tugs at Lawrence's lips.]

Runnin' a town made outta sexual encounters had its moments, of course. Those're memories I'll hold dear.

[revpirenewlin]

[He makes a mental note to use more common knowledge words--but even that is difficult to discern. Two different worlds; what's "normal" for him... But he listens, tapping his lips with an index finger thoughtfully. There's an awkward stillness to his moments at that last comment. Its not enough to make him blush, metaphorically speaking, but it was A Moment.]

Right, I imagine so. Well that's better than having only memories of murder and mayhem, right? [Moving on. Steve's still trying to figure this all out. Which is helpful in veering away from the Awkward.] And this other man that you were before. Am I correct in presuming he had access to skills you now do not?

[Maybe if there was a way to access that older code...]

[ellazo]

[A part of Lawrence is disappointed he has not managed to fluster the man. A part of him is impressed.]

Depends on the mayhem.

[Lawrence does enjoy a good mayhem.]

But yeah: that asshole did. Look at you: good lookin' and smart.

[revpirenewlin]

[Steve has received compliments, at least a handful of times, in his life, but now more frequently on the Barge. He's still not used to it. It's nice to see dedicated hair care routine get its due, at least.]

Thank you, that's... kind of you. [He resists, barely, saying 'mighty kind'. The cowboy-speak was too easy to pick up on. The words he does say are casual, even with a half smirk.] You're not so bad yourself, y'know. Well... of course you would know, I think. Given where you were... before here.

[He trails off, realizing he actually doesn't know too much about that place, only vague assumptions and theories.] ...Er, right so what I was thinkin' is that who that man was, at least in terms of his skills, is still buried...somewhere...inside your mind. We just need a way to access it. If thats possible.

[ellazo]

[It's not the hair. Not in the way Steve might think. Westworld is a place buttoned up people go to let loose; to find who they truly are beneath their neutral suits and tidy coifs.

Lawrence wants to wipe the practiced smile off of Steve's face; replace it with something unexpected and real. He wants to see his carefully styled hair replaced with something wild. He wants to see Steve ruined and enjoying it.

It's in Lawrence's programming to want that sort of thing, and he doesn't mind it one bit.]

I got my strengths. I know where they lie.

[He lifts his chin as he says this; watches Steve through dark, half-lidded eyes.]

It is. I do know that. As for gettin' to it: I did.

[Lawrence's eyes narrow; his jaw tightens.]

And then whoever the fuck runs this hoosegow took away the means.

[Also: his gun. Lawrence is sore about both things.]

[revpirenewlin]

[Something about the way Lawrence watches him makes him feel more than a tad uneasy. He can't pinpoint exactly why. There's something predatory there, but not in the way he's used to. Steve knew the man was dangerous before inviting him over; and yet now he feels akin to a butterfly pinned to a collector's board and scrutinized under a microscope.

Seemingly nothing changed and yet at once, everything did. There's a shift in the air. Were he capable of it, the hairs on the back of his neck might've flared up. As it is, he mostly keeps his calm composure, apart from a few nervous glances he feels compelled to make, and he even stands his ground. His predatory instincts were on edge, certainly, but not flaring up with danger alarms just yet.]

Mhm. Yes. I've noticed he does that to all the inmates he acquires. Alright, so we'll put that idea aside for now. No messing about with your code or anything like that. I'm still certain you, as you are now, could learn if you wanted.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence would be absolutely delighted (or whatever the gruff, cowboy version of delighted is) to be perceived as dangerous; as intimidating. He is the former, but rarely the latter. That's probably by design, which is something Lawrence has never considered: that he was created to be the kind of adversary guests would not expect, and that his replacement is actually a downgrade for the unintelligent masses who can't appreciate subtly. Lawrence's current irritation isn't even aimed at Steve: it's aimed at the Admiral (plus: a side order of 'all humans'. Steve is not human). He has no intentions of taking anything out on the other man. At least: not in any kind of way Steve might not enjoy.]

I appreciate that.

[He genuinely does. There are plenty who would not be certain at all.]

Just felt you deserved the whole story, before tryin' your hand.

[revpirenewlin]

[He listens and nods, his mind already racing several steps ahead and down alternate paths in If = Then varieties. ]

I understand this may be an uphill battle. There's several unknowns at play here, but hey. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, right? That's a good motto to apply to any situation.

[His smile just radiates hopefulness. He claps Lawrence on his shoulder good-naturedly and takes a couple steps over into the corner. His hand raises towards the letters banner and he glances back at his friend.] Alright so I imagine this might look like a bunch of odd lil squigglies, but if we sound out each letter, I'm hopin' to de-fog the mystery for you.

For instance! [He retrieves a laser pointer from his pocket and points to each letter as they're mentioned.] A as in... Albanian horse, arm, ammo or ammunition... B for belt, Bali pony, Bible... C like church, colt action 44.... [Pause.] Just to name a few examples. Is that helpin' at all?

[ellazo]

[Lawrence’s eyes widen and his face goes very still at the sight of the laser pointer.]

How about ‘fuck’, for ‘the fuck is that’?

[It calls to mind the contraption William used to knit the skin together on his arm, after digging the bullet out of it.]

[revpirenewlin]

[Steve looks from the pointer to Lawrence, completely baffled.]

What, this? It's a laser pointer. Useful for, well, pointing out things at a distance. Kind of like those long metal extendable things teachers used in the past. Also a cat toy. But otherwise it's just a light.

[He offers it to him.] Here, give it a try. Just don't shine it in your eyes. That usually hurts.

[ellazo]

I wouldn't know what any kinda teachers used.

[A reminder. He takes the pointer; turns it over in his hands.]

I saw a man once use a thing like this to put his skin back together after it'd got shot open, but nobody knows what the hell I'm talkin' about when I say so. Not even that man.

[William complicates everything.]

Talkin' guns makes anythin' easier-

[Learning. Bartering. Flirting.]

-but how's it Aye as in ammo when it ain't said like aye-mow?

[revpirenewlin]

[He'd heard of laser surgery, but what Lawrence described was a tad bit extreme. Of course, he's one of those clueless sorts, but pays attention regardless. And notes particularly the tidbit about guns.]

Ah, now see... Welcome to how the English language works. Ain't it a beauty? Same letter, different sounds, spellings, and heck, sometimes the letters are silent altogether!

[Yes its silly. Sometimes all you can do is laugh about these things.] For instance... Carbine, and "can't". [Pause.] Not "cunt" that's, obviously, somethin' else. Can't. Can-not. Both begin with "c" and "a" [He points to the letters as he mentions them.] but ya got your different pronunciation---ah, way of speakin' the letters---at work here.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence gives a languid nod of agreement.]

A cunt certainly is somethin' else.

[And because Lawrence is made to know such things, Steve strikes him as someone who is not well personally acquainted with cunts.]

Color me a little surprised that kinda word can slip outta your mouth without you burstin' into flame.

[By surprised, Lawrence means impressed. In the park, gentle young things are meant to spend a little time with him and leave swearing like sailors. As for the English language:]

That's stupid as shit.

[revpirenewlin]

[It was a terrible word, and yet when Lawrence says it, its almost poetry. Thoughts of being too attached to his 'student' already never crosses his mind. He winks playfully.]

Only thing that'd set me on fire is sunlight. Anyway, I've used that word once before. Tryin' to kidnap and imprison whom I thought was a vampire spy. I was gentle of course, but she was clinging to the damned railing so I had to drag 'er down. It was fine, I was gentle. I brought them water bottles in the mornin'. Hydration is important!

[Just chock full of that Christian hospitality everyone talks about. Also sanity.]

And yes, yes the English language can be a bit of a mess. I've heard learnin' Spanish is easier but I didn't do so well in those classes.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence blinks at him.]

...That is sweet, but you know I wasn't exactly made to give a fuck about gentle, right?

[He's very capable of gentleness, but Lawrence is a rough man who has lived a rough life and down things the rough way.]

I could always teach you a useful phrase or two in exchange.

[revpirenewlin]

Right, I get that. But breaking away from what you're programmed to do... isn't that the whole point of bein' here? [Whether he meant here, as in his room, or just the Barge in general, is up for interpretation.] Besides, I know you don't care, but I... used to. These days of course, some things are best used sparingly when you're no longer human.

[He considers the offer, then shrugs.] We'll see how this goes, first. But, hey, I got all the time in the world now to learn a new language these days. Stretch out the ol' oral skills, as it were.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence takes that 'here' literally.]

Fuck if I know the point of bein' here. If that's it, I feel I've done just fine, an' I oughta be free to do as I please. The man in charge ain't in agreement.

[Lawrence's face is carefully unreadable. It isn't true that he doesn't care; he just cares for particular people. Watering a suspected traitor doesn't move him; seems like a waste of water. That traitor's child would be a different matter, no matter what Lawrence says about it.]

What was it, that stopped you carin'?

[His lips turn up in a smirk at Steve's particular use of phrase.]

Mhm. As it were indeed.

[Oral skills. Steve. Steve.]

[revpirenewlin]

[Steve nods along with Lawrence's words; they are in complete agreement over the Admiral's sense of "redemption" and that its entirely bullshit. He hardly thinks he's the worst or even the 100th worst vampire from his world. Why isn't Bill or Eric or even that bitch Nan Flanagan here? They most assuredly did far worse in their 1,000+ years of existence than he ever could in his mere four months.

Just thinking about it, why he's here and no one else is.. His anger and frustration flow outward, seeking an outlet. The fangs extend with an audible click like a switchblade. He takes a step closer to Lawrence.]

This would be why I stopped worrying about the humans. Most of 'em don't deserve any kindness we might offer. Only want to torture us, experiment on us... All for their own sick amusement. But I'm preachin' to the choir, I know.

[He turns his head away, pressing his lips tightly together. There's a sound of helpless frustration, close to a whimper, and with some determined grasping at willpower, a muscle above his upper lip twitches and the fangs retract. There's a couple steadying, controlled breaths, more for the habit and calming effects then necessity.]

...Sorry. I try not to get upset like that.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence does not back away. His eyes go to Steve's fangs and narrow, but with mild interest more than anything.]

There was a boy used to work for me. Name of Slim.

[Lawrence says boy but Slim was well in his twenties.]

Had quite the temper on him. I always considered it part of his charm.

[revpirenewlin]

[Steve leans back against the desk's edge near him, bracing his hands on either side of him. The lack of fear was certainly noticed.]

So... what happened to him?

[Actually curious. He doesn't ask if Slim was like Lawrence, as in also being built, he just naturally presumes that's true of almost anyone Lawrence mentions.]

[ellazo]

Got shot down holdin' up a supply wagon. I filled his corpse up with nitro; used it to blow a regiment of Confederados to kingdom come. Either they couldn't put him back together, or they didn't care to, 'cause I never saw him again.

[Several emotions flit across Lawrence's face and through his words: sorrow and anger, of course, but also guilt.]

Of everythin' they did, that was the worst, if'n you ask me. Just take us away; give our lives to somebody else. There's another fella here named Lawrence. He's funny. I like him. But it gets my hackles up. Makes me feel I gotta watch over my shoulder.

[revpirenewlin]

[His eyes widen at the mention of nitro, and remain that way throughout the tale. By the end he almost regrets asking.]

Jesus tapdancin' Christ. [That's all he has for several moments. It certainly cements everything he'd heard thus far. Puts it all into perspective. The reprogramming, former lives. Same bodies, different personalities...?]

Wow. Just, yea, I can see where that'd be---I mean, fuck, they would just completely blank you, just like that? But you're here now. Does it help knowing that's no longer a concern? That you will remain you?

[ellazo]

[Lawrence nods once.]

Ain't it though? Who says? That trouble you heard about, before you showed up? That's just what happened here. Folks changed. It didn't get me, but who says it won't? Who says I even am me? I feel like I am, but I was made to be that other fuck first. So which one of us is right?

[Lawrence shakes his head abruptly.]

See, this's why I drink.

[revpirenewlin]

Lucky you still have that luxury...

[Muttering, pinching the bridge of his nose, but now isn't the time for a pity party. Ignoring his own negativity, he strides forward, placing a hand on Lawrence's shoulder. He leans down, just enough so he can meet his gaze directly.]

Listen, I never met that other guy. Whomever he was before this version of you. Just like you never met me before I got Turned. That ain't nearly the same thing but point is, we're always changin'. Each night there's some new experience or fact or... whatever that alters us. Not even considering what crazy the Barge will throw at us next.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence gazes back at him. Lawrence glances down at the hand on his shoulder. Lawrence glances back at Steve's face.]

Hold up. Are you tellin' me you can't drink?

[The horror in Lawrence's voice is practically palpable.]

[revpirenewlin]

[A couple blinks follow the question.]

Is that all you got from... everything I just said?

[It was almost adorable. Steve sighs and stands, crossing his arms.]

Correct. No booze, no caffeine.

[ellazo]

It's the most important bit.

[Lawrence is deadly serious.]

How the hell've you kept from puttin' a bullet in your own head?

[revpirenewlin]

Well for one thing, a bullet wouldn't hurt me. [Slight frown.] That is, normally it wouldn't but here with most of what I can do stolen away, who really who knows what the dang rules are.

Anyway, getting drunk is nothing compared to feeding. The headrush, the physicality an' the taste--

[He shuts up, silently wills away the fangs from popping. Not gonna do it, not again, noooooope. Just a charming smile instead.]

Anyhoo, I think we are gettin' waaaay off track with, ah, whatever lesson this was.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence arches an eyebrow.]

I ain’t in any rush, are you? Plus, you caught my interest if you think there’s somethin’ drinkin’ can’t hold a candle to. You can go on about that.

[revpirenewlin]

[A couple seconds to compose himself, press a finger to his lips before he crosses his arms again. This was fine, everything was fine.]

Nope, no rush here. Just, ah... I wouldn't want to do something... untoward. [Ahem.] Alright, so its the same concept, different liquid. Trade alcohol for blood. It's not just for survival, but feeding off someone especially during more, shall we say, fun activities?

[There's a pause and against all of his better judgment his gaze wanders over Lawrence and, not for the first time, he notes just how damned attractive he is. Compliments to the creator for that. But just thinking of how he must've been used in the park, brings his mind back into sharp focus and he shakes his head to clear away the terrible thoughts.]

It can be quite the pleasurable experience for both people is what I'm saying. [Pause.] Plus fairy blood, or that of exceptionally ancient vampires, can get me what might be considered 'drunk'.

[ellazo]

[Lawrence barks out a laugh at the word ‘untoward’.]

Ain’t that kind of you, to consider my reputation.

[The smirk on Lawrence’s face says just how little reputation there is to consider.]

Now, see: I get how that’d be a right good time for you. I understand less how it’d be good for whoever’s blood is all comin’ outta some hole in them. I ain’t sayin’ I never laid with nobody who liked to use their teeth: on the contrary. But I never been drunk up like a whiskey bottle.

[Because that is how Lawrence tends to consume his whiskey.]

[revpirenewlin]

[His turn to chuckle a little.]

How tragic. For you, I mean. You must've been with some really tame biters in your time, then. Or ones who didn't know just what the hell they were doing.

[There was a second where he wondered if Lawrence was being intentionally innocent to the point of obtuse. Just as well he knew this was a dangerous line of discussion to continue. But then again, when has Steve Newlin's judgment ever been his strongest suit?

He moves toward Lawrence; his steps slow, leisurely. His voice softens to match his pace.]

Most go for the neck. A hickey bite. Common, rather sensitive spot. If you want to be practical and quick, there's the wrist.

[Steve drops to his knees in front of Lawrence, never breaking eye contact.]

But there's one other spot that's often overlooked. A tragedy, really. It's a vampire's favorite.

[Light fingertips caress their way up Lawrence's pant leg, pausing just at that inner thigh juncture where the femoral artery would normally reside. His lips part and this time, he doesn't resist when his fangs extend.]

The blood flows quite freely here. A vampire doesn't have to suck as hard. Now, ask me again, how a person might not enjoy some attention down there?

[ellazo]

[Lawrence hums vaguely in agreement.]

I do suspect it wasn’t a thing they could pull out at home on the missus or mister. A lotta lip biters. But I do like to indulge folk, when I can.

[He watches Steve move forward; drop to his knees. He reaches out two fingers to lightly stroke the edge of Steve’s hairline, as if to smooth the strands more securely into place (although this is unnecessary).]

I am startin’ to get an inkling. An’ it surely makes for a pretty picture from where I’m sittin’.